


Your First

by i_love_your_light



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 13:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5871349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_love_your_light/pseuds/i_love_your_light
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You've never kissed anyone?"</p>
<p>Based on the tumblr prompt:  awkward teenage crush kiss, hernst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your First

“You’ve never kissed  _ anyone _ ?”

 

The look of disbelief on Hanschen’s face made Ernst want to crawl into a corner and die.  He tried to shake off his mounting discomfort with an awkward half-shrug.

 

“I mean, it can’t be  _ that  _ surprising,” Ernst replied with a self-deprecating laugh, gesturing at himself.  He didn’t meet Hanschen’s eyes as he dug his toes into the snow, gripping the wood of the park bench where he sat with gloved hands.  

 

“But you’re  _ seventeen _ , Ernst.” Ernst wished Hanschen would drop the subject, feeling the heat in his cheeks rising.  “Never even like, on a dare?  Spin the bottle? Stage kiss?”

 

Ernst shook his head.

 

“So you have no idea what it’s like at all.” Hanschen said softly, a bit of awe in his tone.  Ernst wished he would change the topic, but Hanschen only hopped off of his spot on the swings to sit next to Ernst and keep talking.

 

“God, can I even remember my first kiss?  I mean, I kissed Wendla when I was five but I don’t count that.  I think I was thirteen.”  He stared up at the sky, remembering with a laugh.  “Oh god, yes, I was thirteen, and it was at Melchior Gabor’s house with Bobby Maler.  He used  _ way _ too much tongue and he tasted like garlic.  Not the most pleasant experience.”  Hanschen scrunched up his face in disgust and Ernst laughed, despite the envy perking up in his stomach.

 

“Since then it’s gotten much better,” Hanschen continued.  Ernst saw the memories of all the people Hanschen had kissed flicker through his eyes as he smirked.  “ _ I’ve _ gotten much better.”

 

And ok,  _ now _ Ernst was jealous.  It was no secret that Hanschen.... got around, for lack of better term.  Which, whatever, it’s his life and Ernst wasn’t one to judge.  But it felt like as time went on the shorter the list became of people that Hanschen  _ hadn’t _ kissed.  And Ernst was still stuck on that list, though he wanted to get off it of ever since he was thirteen.

 

They lapsed into silence for a few moments, Ernst watching their breaths visibly cloud up in the air in an effort to concentrate.  He was about to open his mouth to change the subject, but Hanschen beat him to speaking.

 

“So who would you pick to be your first?”

 

“What?” Ernst asked reflexively, knowing full well what Hanschen was getting at.  But he was  _ not _ about to have this conversation with him, of all people.

 

“Who would you want to be your first kiss?”  Hanschen persisted, a teasing glint in his eyes.  “C’mon, I know there has to be someone.”

 

There was someone.  And Ernst was sitting next to him, staring at him and trying desperately to figure out how to respond.  He settled for shaking his head and laughing nervously, but Hanschen wouldn’t give up.

 

“You like guys, right? Any of the boys in our grade got your eye?” Hanschen moved in closer as he asked.

 

Ernst felt panic rise in his throat, closing off any sort of verbal response.  He moved to get up from the bench, but Hanschen caught him by the sleeve of his jacket, keeping him in place.

 

“ _ Ernst _ ,” God, the way Hanschen said his name sent shivers down Ernst’s spine in a way that had nothing to do with the cold. “Come on.  You can trust me.”

 

Ernst considered the boy beside him, his blond hair slightly tousled below his beanie, blue eyes glinting with the question, and full lips parted in anticipation of an answer.  Looking for an answer.

 

Ernst didn’t know what came over him, just that all of a sudden the panic evaporated from him and he was swooping in to press his lips to Hanschen’s.  The kiss lasted maybe one second before Ernst jerked away, eyes wide.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped, the reality of what he’d just done flooding over him, “Oh my god, I’m so sor-”

 

Hanschen didn’t let him finish, crashing their mouths back together, and Ernst felt his mind go completely numb.  Hanschen’s lips slid against his in a slow, practiced dance, and Ernst fumbled to figure out how the steps went, fingers flitting over Hanschen’s arms and sides.  He felt inexperienced and unsure, but the soft noises Hanschen was making against his lips were all the encouragement he needed to keep kissing and kissing and kissing.  Hanschen  _ was _ a very good kisser, and if this was what Ernst had been missing out on for all these years, then he never wanted to stop.

 

Hanschen finally pulled away to let Ernst breathe.  Ernst hadn’t even realized how starved his lungs were for oxygen, feeling embarrassed and dizzy as he sucked in cold air and tried to get his breath back.

 

“Something tells me  _ you’ll _ be able to remember your first kiss easily,” Hanschen teased with a smirk. “You’re welcome.”  

 

Ernst let out a shaky laugh.  He wanted to ask what this all meant, why Hanschen had kissed him back, where things would go from here, but words and sentence structure seemed to be foreign concepts at the moment.

 

Almost as if Hanschen could read the questions on Ernst’s face, he leaned back in to press their foreheads together.  “Or maybe you won’t,” he murmured thoughtfully, “Maybe this one will just blend into the next, and the next, and the next, until that first one is indistinguishable from all the others.”

 

“All the others?” Ernst repeated in disbelief, feeling a rush of emotion swell in his chest.

 

Hanschen didn’t reply with words; he just kissed Ernst again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, either on here or on tumblr at i-love-your-light.tumblr.com!


End file.
